300 for 30: Day 8

Depression is being incredibly bored. Depression is being overwhelmed. Depression is gray in your heart and mouth and underneath your eyelids. Depression is tiptoing on a tightrope over a lake of cold, dark water, a weak spotlight barely showing you the way. Depression is when you can't think of a single external thing that you want, other than for the depression to go away, or maybe, maybe one of the very few people who you can cry with as they hold you, who will forgive your dullness and helplessness.

Depression is temporary. Depression is recurrent. Depression is a gnawing on your spirit. Depression is when your bones itch and freeze. Depression is a dull roar that goes on and on. Depression tastes like silver, copper, stainless steel, an old popsicle stick you realize you've been chewing to no purpose, a chilly spoon you mouth at when the food is all gone. Depression is most foods tasting like sawdust and cardboard. Depression is a choke in your throat and a rattle in your walk. Depression is temporary. Depression is listening to yourself blink and getting annoyed so shutting your eyes instead. Depression is bouncing the leg, rocking the body, clicking the teeth, all to drown out the silence. Depression is a dryness. Depression is a weakness. Depression is a loss.

Depression is having trouble getting to sleep. Depression is having trouble getting up. Depression is nightmares. Depression is preferring nightmares to being awake, for fear and depression are not the same thing and sometimes it's nice to have a change. Depression is the minor key of the inner soundtrack. Depression is words being reluctant and sticky. Depression is like having tight clamps on your hands. Depression is a disease. Depression is a chemical imbalance. Depression is the reason so many bright and brilliant people don't know it much of the time.

Depression is my enemy. Depression is an old companion. Depression is temporary.

Depression is not forever. But depression is now.