Things in Favor:
- tone
- consistent
- form
- good opening
- concrete imagery
- non-cliche
- attention to language itself
- surprising
- relatable
- political dimension takes it beyond simple love poem
- made at least two readers actually tear up (!)
- "excellent first draft"
Things in Waver:
- shorten lines
- ground it
- slow it down
- expand on the "television" concept
- capitalize and punctuate
- let reader breathe
- be more specific and solid
- clarify "the dual meaning of dear"
- italicize foreign words and things in quotes
- reveal more
- break up sentences
- more metaphor & simile
More soon!
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